


Take my weak heart and tie it to yours

by Chychyd



Category: Saturday Night Live
Genre: Destructive Behavior, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Valentine's Day, no happy ending sorry, seth meyers is a little shit who doesn't know what he really wants, stefon my poor sad son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 06:56:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14491317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chychyd/pseuds/Chychyd
Summary: When Seth and Stefon's Valentines "date" doesn't go as either of them planned, both are left alone with too many questions, too many emotions, and too much alcohol. Destructive behavior ensues. Set Valentines day of 2012.





	Take my weak heart and tie it to yours

Even though Seth was supposed to be taking Stefon out, Stefon knew that it was really Seth who needed to be taken out -needed a little TLC and to be treated really well for a night. So instead of insisting they go out to a club or go drinking or whatever, Stefon told Seth plan out a nice little “date” for them.

“Something you normal people do. Like dinner and sex in your car.”

“ _Stefon_!”

So Seth planned out something simple, but nice. They went to a movie -some indie-action flick that had enough action to keep Seth interested and enough odd angles and aesthetically-pleasing stills to satisfy Stefon- and took a stroll down the Hudson boardwalk. The lights of the city were so beautiful shining off the water and it made Stefon’s eyes gleam in the most gorgeous way.

They’re walking, and they’re talking, and they keep bumping hands. There is a wet, heavy tension between them. Seth knows Stefon feels it too because he’s being a little quieter, a little less flirty. Almost like he’s trying to keep himself at just enough of a distance to not try to jump Seth’s bones for once.

And Seth hates it. He hates that there is even a little bit of distance between them because he feels like a magnet to Stefon. It feels wrong to not have Stefon as close as possible. It feels wrong not to hear a dirty joke or have him hear “Seth Meyers” in that really soft, long way that he draws Seth’s name into the air around them.

They’ve stopped, both leaning against the railings looking out at the water. The city is behind them and everything is almost quiet for a moment. Seth and Stefon’s hands are millimeters away from each other and it is practically painful to stop himself from closing that space.

“What are you thinking about, Seth Meyers? You’ve been awful quiet tonight. Am I _that_ much of a bore doing normal people things?”

Seth shakes his head and lets out a breathy laugh. “I’m just thinking about Valentines day. How crazy it is that I should be doing this with my girlfriend..” Seth grips the railing a little tighter, his thoughts digging into his head a little deeper.

“Go home to her. Stefon will be fine on his own.” Stefon shuffled back from the railing and pulled his jacket to himself tighter. “I always have been.”

Seth pushed himself off the railing, shaking his head. “No, that’s the problem, Stefon. I don’t want to be doing this with her.”

“Then who?” Stefon asked. He took a step closer to Stefon, like it was a secret they were sharing.

Stefon was close now. Close enough that Seth only had to reach up, just a little bit to fill the gap between them. It wasn’t a heavy, passionate kiss. Seth just placed his lips on Stefon’s, so gently they were barely touching. Just enough to feel Stefon’s breath on his face. He pushed a little harder, their lips flat against each other. They stood there for a moment, lips together, Seth’s hand on Stefon’s neck, but did not move. Seth pulled away after a moment, both their questions answered.

Both men stood silently, Seth’s hand still caressing the bottom of Stefon’s jaw so lightly. They were still close -close enough to feel each other’s warmth on this chilly February night. Stefon still had his eyes closed, almost like if he opened them, he’d realize it was all a wonderful dream. His lips were parted, out of surprise, no doubt. Seth wanted to kiss him again. Wanted to so damn badly. But he didn’t know if he’d be able to stop himself this time. So he removed his hand from Stefon’s neck. The cold air replacing the steady warmth made Stefon’s eyes snap open. Seth took a step away from the club kid and cleared his throat.

“So.. uh. Anyways.. We should probably be heading back.” Seth checked his watch. “It’s getting pretty late. I’m sure you probably have some cool club somewhere you wanted to hit up tonight.”

Actually, Stefon didn’t. When Seth Meyers had offered to take him out for Valentines Day, he cancelled all of his plans with the Jewpids and the Rosey O’Donald impersonator, Gaysey O’Donald. But now that Stefon didn’t know what he was feeling -joy, disappointment, anger, frustration, ridiculously turned on- he figured an impromptu stop at one or several clubs until he forgets how to walk or forgets his own name may be his next course of action.

Stefon blinked a few times, finally forcing himself out of he trance that was Seth Meyers and nodded his head. “Umm yeah, of course! I totally had plans already..”

“Great! Can I walk you home?” Seth gestured for them to start walking back towards the buzz of the city. Stefon froze before shaking his head. “Come on, Stefon. It’s only polite for me to walk my date home.” Seth didn’t know why he was pushing it so hard. He knew he needed to get back home and call his girlfriend and take a cold, cold shower before he did anything he’d really regret.

“I’m actually going to go there straight from here. I’ll just take the subway down to the empty cellar of Ms.Marie’s off of 4th. You should just go home to your girlfriend and all that.” It broke Seth’s heart to hear the disappointment in Stefon’s voice. “Goodnight, Seth Meyers.”

And just like that Stefon was gone, quickly across the street and disappearing into the city that never sleeps. He left without his signature hug or kiss on the cheek. He left without a long, lustful look or a wink. He just left. Seth didn’t know what to do. Part of him said run to him, and the other part said run home. But Seth has always been one to play it safe. So he called a cab and waited alone in the dark. His fingertips felt like icicles but his lips still tingled in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a teenager.

Soon he was back home at his apartment, a glass of scotch in his hand that he sure wouldn’t be his last and his cell phone to his ear, telling his girlfriend that his night with Stefon went great. He lied and lied again. He told her that he was lonely but Stefon had thanked him for the great night out and maybe they’d touch on it in the next Update, although Seth knew they wouldn’t. He told her he loved her, which was true.

And when she started listing the ways she wanted Seth to make up missing Valentines Day to her, his mind wandered into dangerous territory. Images that should have been her were instead the images of milky, white skin and muscular tones -a patch of chest hair, short highlighted bangs and a strong jawline spread out on Seth’s red sheets.

Seth quickly snapped himself out of it and said his goodnight’s to his girlfriend while pouring himself another glass of scotch. A cold shower was definitely next on his list.

 

Heavy bass and a noise that Stefon really couldn’t put his finger on, nor did he really care vibrated through him. He hadn’t been at this club long, but it was the closest one to where he had left Seth standing, against every better ounce of judgment in him that told him he should of stayed with Seth and shown him how he really felt about that kiss.

At first, Stefon was blown away; all his limbs went numb and his stomach flopped. Electricity sparked up his spine and for a second, Stefon thinks he forgot how to breathe. He doesn’t know how long the two were standing there but however long it was, the world made sense. And then Seth pulled apart from Stefon’s lips… and suddenly they were exactly the same as before. Seth just pretended like he hadn’t just changed Stefon’s life.

There was a flood of emotions that Stefon was determined to forget. But all he knew is he wanted to do a mixture of kiss the life out of Seth Meyers and throw him into the Hudson river.

“What is the strongest thing you have tonight?” Stefon asked the bartender, a tall, strong looking woman with a half-buzz cut and wicked sharp eyeliner. She smiled almost as sharply as the wings of her eyeliner.

“I’ve got a great heartbreaker cocktail. I got it three ways, Hot, Sloppy, and Rough. Which will it be?” She started preparing multiple glasses next to one another.

“What would you suggest for someone who finally got the man they love to kiss him and then he goes home to his _girlfriend_ like nothing even happened?” The bartender grimaced and held up a finger to Stefon. She began mixing a concoction of several different liquors. Soon she placed a tall, skinny glass in front of him. The glass was cold and sweating and filled with a liquid that started red at the top but was black by the time it reached the bottom of the glass. Stefon reached for it.

“Wait.” She smacked his hand from the glass. She slammed down a shot glass in front of the taller glass. It was filled to the top with an amber liquid and had a pill fizzing at the bottom. “And finally.” She said as she poured a thin layer of dark brown liquid on the top of his tall glass. She pulled a match box out from her pocket and sparked it before dipping it into the drink, causing the entire top of Stefon’s drink to ignite. “Hot.” She pointed at the flame. “Sloppy.” She pointed at the shot. “And Rough.” She gestured to the little pill, now dissolved in the shot glass. “Take the shot, blow the flame out, then drink.” She slid a plastic straw next to his glass. Stefon dug in his pocket for his wallet. “On the house, sweetheart. Valentines Day fucking sucks.”

That, Stefon couldn’t argue with. The bartender quickly poured herself a shot and gestured to Stefon with it. “Cheers.”

They clinked and Stefon downed the bitter amber liquid, tequila, he thinks. He blows out the flame on his drink and starts on it as quickly as he can. He has no clue what the pill was, but he really doesn’t care. If there is anyone you can trust to do you right at a club, it’s the bartender.

The drink is both sweet and bitter. ‘ _How fitting_ ’ Stefon thinks to himself. He can’t tell what is in it but by the time he is done with it he has a nice little buzz going on. It gives him enough boost to move from his seat at the bar and slide into the crowd. His legs already feel a little numb and his chest has this cold feeling like it’s a little emptier than it was before he started drinking. He finds a group of midget drag queens and joins them, moving to some mixture of bombs exploding, babies crying, and a really fast techno beat.

Soon there is a tall, bearded man dancing on Stefon. Seeing as Stefon was already 6’1, this guy had to be 6’6, easy. He was bigger than Stefon in every way and really wasn’t his type but when he reached down and grabbed Stefon’s hip and whispered in his ear, asking if he could buy Stefon a drink, he didn’t say no.

The bearded man grabbed Stefon’s hand and pulled him to the bar. They ordered a round of shots and the bartender gave Stefon a look when she sat them down. The look said “Him?” and Stefon gave her back a look that said “Maybe, probably not.”

They had a couple of shots and when the bearded man, “David” started trying to make small talk, Stefon insisted they go back to dance. Stefon knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere, especially knowing he had the same name as his brother. It’s easier when you don’t bother to learn their name.

It wasn’t long before Stefon was back at the bar, downing a couple of green pills with a vodka soda. Stefon had to rub his tired eyes and do a double take at the crowd. Somewhere buried in people he could have sworn he saw… no. It was just the pills or the alcohol. But every so often as the crowd swayed he swore he saw a man; 6 foot tall, a little skinny in the arms and short brown hair that you just wanted to run your fingers through.

His feet carried themselves back into the crowd. They were searching for something that hadn’t quite registered in his head yet. Not until he saw him. He was a little shorter, 5’9, maybe 5’10. But he was lean and thin. His hair was just long enough to run your fingers through, but still stuck straight up. It was a little more punk-looking than Seth normally had. Stefon walked up behind him, every step he took lagged in his mind just a little. The music was no longer a sound but just a feeling that rattled in the hallow cavern of his chest.

They were dancing together, bodies pressed tight against one another. Everything was so hot. Stefon thought he probably still had his winter coat on but he really couldn’t tell anymore. Not-Seth turned around to face Stefon. He smiled when he got a good look at Stefon in the flashing lights and then reached up and kissed him hard. Stefon took control of the kiss, putting everything he wanted to earlier in the night into it. They pulled away, breathing heavy. Not-Seth pulled a thin mint container out of his pocket and slipped out two tabs of acid. He placed one on his own tongue, then the other onto Stefon’s.

The rest of the night felt like a series of out-of-focus pictures that Stefon had to put in order. One minute they were at the club grinding to the sounds shattering glass and a 1978 game of baseball and the next they were on the empty subway, making out heavily while fairies buzzed around their heads and the little noises that came out of Not-Seth’s mouth floated into the air and popped like bubbles above them. Next, Stefon is trying to fumble with his apartment keys while Not-Seth is sucking on his earlobe and the noise of the city below them is enough to shake the keys out of his hand.

Then it’s morning. Stefon thinks it is at least. The sun is shining painfully through the curtains he normally keeps closed. Stefon blindly reaches around next to him and doesn’t feel anything but a ball of sheets. He manages to open his eyes and sit up.

His room is wrecked. If he wasn’t so god-awfully hungover he’d be concerned that he was robbed. Everything is shoved clean off his desk but, luckily he sees his laptop on the floor mixed in with the mess so he relaxes slightly, hoping that it was just Stefon being stupid and reckless and did not in fact get robbed in the midst of a night he does not remember well at all. His body mirror is lying face down on the floor and he is praying to whatever god that it’s not shattered when he picks it up. He finally noticed that the sheets are torn completely of the bed.

Stefon manages to crawl out of bed and try to stretch last night off. Everything is sore, but in a good way. He finds his boxers on the floor and his jeans not too far away. He’s disappointed to not find his phone in his jeans but he does find his wallet, missing at least 50 bucks but, oh well. It’s collateral damage in the span of things.

Stefon makes his was into the main space of his apartment to find a glass of water, two aspirins, his phone already plugged into a charger and a note on the counter next to the sink. Either drunk Stefon has become one smart son-of-a-bitch or Not Seth is almost as kind as Real Seth. Stefon popped the two pills in his mouth and downed them with the whole glass of water. He picked up the note, written on the back of a random piece of mail. It wasn’t in his handwriting.

The note read _**“I don’t know who ‘Seth’ is but you should probably get a hold of him. He really shouldn’t be missing out on a fucking like that if it was meant for him. Good thing I don’t really mind going by a different name every now and again. Also, I think he sent you like 14 text messages. Thanks for the great night!”**_

Stefon snatched up his phone, nearly fully charged. Even Stefon was surprised that is was already the middle of the afternoon. Normally he tried to be up by noonish if he’s home by 5 or 6 in the morning. But then again, he has no clue what time he actually fell asleep last night.

Not-Seth’s note was right. He had 14 text messages from Mr.Seth Meyers himself. Stefon grabbed a box of cereal and took it over to the couch, eating it dry from the box while opening the series of messages. He was intruded by a boot in his backside as he sat down. He tossed the boot on the floor, mildly curious as to where it’s pair may have gone.

Stefon quickly realized that Seth must had been drunk when he typed these. Many words were almost unreadable, and he had random capitals and even more exclamations than Stefon uses sober, which is a lot when he’s texting Seth. What Stefon got from the gist of the messages was various ideas for the next Weekend Update that he wanted Stefon to be on for St.Patrick's Day. There was one message that stood out the most to him.

“ _ **Was thikin of doing something sbout kiSS me in Irish!!!!!! That b really fun i think maybe we could play around with mmmm like maybe kissing???? Is that too mush for tV?? Or mayb we coul……**_ ”

Stefon couldn’t help but smile to himself. That fucker. He didn’t know whether to be furious at him for what he did last night for happy he was thinking about it as much as Stefon was.

Stefon jumped up and scurried to his room, searching through a box of various pins and buttons he had collect over the years. After a little searching, he found what he was looking for. A big, bright green button that said **KISS ME I’M IRISH**. Stefon clutched the button to his chest and snatched up his laptop off the floor to start writing up a sketch.

He debating texting Seth back or not. Whether he should give Seth the opportunity to retract what he said now, or just wait until their next meeting when they talk about what they want on the next Update. Either way, this would make for a very interesting Weekend Update. That he knew for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> I know I am like a hundred years late for this ship but lets just say it's an early celebration for their 5 year anniversary. More to come in the future! Let me know what you'd think and what you'd like to read. My tumblr is ThatGirlWithFeels if you want to see more of Sethon!
> 
> Title inspired by Weak Heart by Ed Prosek


End file.
